Golden Boy

From this weekend’s runcation

Near sundown at Castle Rock Badlands in Gove County, Kansas, the light just happened to produce this golden glow. Reminds me of a scene from the Mickey Rourke movie Immortals. I didn’t intend for this to be a pose either, the continuous capture just caught me in a perfect spot!

My First Naturist Festival and Run!

Thanks to Ray S for advice on my video!

The whole purpose of this No Pants Endurance blog is about endurance sports and being naked, so the Heartland Naturists Festival is the perfect event for me! Ever since I found out about it last year, I had been counting down the days for this year’s event like a kid does for Christmas!

That being said, I was also very nervous and many times thought about backing out. I’ve had many other opportunities to attend naturist events. I lived in the Seattle area for some ten years and never got the courage to strip down for the Fremont Solstice Parade‘s nude biking or visit one of the area’s naturist communities, which I regret.

As I mention in my video review (which I hope you enjoy and find funny) being naked in front of people is a whole different animal from blog posts where everything I post is controlled and I can always show myself in the best light possible. But not just that, I’m actually a shy person and new social situations are hard for me under normal circumstances and these were far from normal circumstances!

Anyway I got the courage and am so glad I did! The HN community was fantastic and the event met expectations and then some! As for the Sun Run 5k, I know people were interested in how that worked out. It was actually not a painful experience at all! I’d say it felt 10% weird and 90% exhilarating! Again, check the video for too much information about that! 😉 🍆

If you have any interest in naturist festivals or nude runs, I highly recommend you try it! Especially the Heartland Naturist Festival if you are in the area next year! I hope to see you there!

Rock Out With My Cock Out

First off, I’m thankful and very glad to have found this community where I can mention my unmentionables! Thank you all who visit and post, it really means a lot to me!

I ran a half marathon in a little town called Esbon last weekend. They had a make your own medal table where you decorate a piece of the local sandstone from the running course. Naturally my idea was unmentionable and some clandestine decoration commenced and later an even more unmentionable display of the finished product:

I found it very amusing and a fun idea. A superbly accurate medal given I tag most of my pics with my NPE logo and had a chance to make it real! I also drew a stick man with his cock and balls out (impressive artistic talent, I know!). Can’t imagine why I did that!

Wicked Wednesday

Prompt #362: Unmentionable

If you want a rock without the cock, check out A Leap of Faith’s post!

Banana Bread? HELL YEAH!

For those who don’t get the reference to the greatest motivational speech of all time, click here.

Dude I got some f*&#ing banana bread at a race today dude? Hell yeah.

My mom told me if I train hard for things, like, good things will happen to me dude and f*&#ing I ran hard that day for a PR and rang the bell

and i got some banana bread at a marathon today dude? Hell yeah. So it just goes to show that training for things is, like, worth it.

But there’s a lot of bad things in this world, dude. Like f*&#ing cramps, dude? Hell no. Drinking Gatorade, but you’re STILL f*&#ing THIRSTY dude?! HELL no.

F*&#ing PANTS, DUDE? HELL NO!!

LIKE PAYING A LOT OF MONEY TO GO RACE, DUDE?! FOR F*&#ING RUNNING?! HELL NO!!!! BUT BANANA BREAD?! AT F*&#ING FINISH, DUDE?! HELL YEAH!!!!!! HELL YEAH, BRO!!!! HELL YEAH!! BANANA BREAD, BRO, AT THE F*&#ING FINISH, DUDE!!!! HELL YEAH!!

Feeling Salty

Feeling salty and grey so this trip to the Great Salt Plains National Wildlife Refuge matched my mood.  I wrote a post for Wicked Wednesday about my last chance of the year to complete an Ironman triathlon.  Well I didn’t.

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I was most concerned about the swim.  I had 2 1/2 hours to complete it.  I did it in 2 hours and 26 minutes.  After that, I had until 6 pm to complete the 112 mile bike ride.  I got pulled off the course with half an hour until the deadline due to a technicality that the police intersection presence in town was set to stop at 6:00 and there was “uncertainty” of them being in place for my ride through town in the first 7 of 11 miles remaining (the final 5k or so was in the park).

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I’ve failed to finish ultramarathons my fair share of times and wasn’t fine with it, of course, but I accepted it as it was on me and my training or beyond human control due to injury, etc.  But this time was different.  My pace was there, albeit barely.  The problem is that I registered for the beginner wave of the swim, which was completely reasonable, my being a beginner after all!  But once there, I found out the beginner’s wave was the final wave, not the first as I and everybody I’ve talked to agreed would be the logical assumption.  That meant I started 20-25 minutes after the first wave, which was the wave I’d been in if I hadn’t selected beginner.  That meant 20-25 minutes less time to finish the bike!  I fail to see how this benefits a beginner!

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Long story short, being in the beginner wave is supposed to set up new triathletes in a better position, but it mathematically, truthfully set me up for failure.  I feel cheated and I think I have a sound argument that I was cheated.  This was the most disappointing and infuriating race experience of my life by a wide margin.  Now it’s a full year before another shot at completing an Ironman.  This cast a pall over everything else I’ve accomplished this year and will eat away like acid in my stomach all off season.  I still feel a little sick.

Wicked Wednesday Prompt #328: Someday

This topic is an overarching theme for this site.  I hit something of a midlife crisis two years ago at age 34, which may sound a bit ridiculous but for an endurance athlete, that’s getting long in the tooth!  I had just been a recreational 5-10k runner, but I’d always wanted to run a marathon and it struck me on my birthday that I was getting close to a age where I wouldn’t be able to run one competitively (at least in the sense of qualifying for Boston).  So I started training.  New Years of this year I set four goals:

  1.  Run a marathon under 3 hours and qualify for the Boston Marathon
  2. Complete a run over 100 miles
  3. Qualify for Western States lottery
  4. complete a full Ironman triathlon

I’ve accomplished #1 and have confidence of running two races, one in November and the other in December to fulfill #2 and #3.  #4 is my primary goal and it is proving difficult.

This weekend I went to Custer, South Dakota to complete a half Ironman triathlon as indicated on my post Pre-race Preparation.  I failed.

Despite the weather being in the 80s during the day, the mornings in the Black Hills were frigid as was the water.  I have a hard enough time as is doing the swim and athletes were shivering in their wetsuits.  And I have no wetsuit.  The half length was two laps and I was going numb and cramping during one, so I called it and downgraded to Olympic distance.  I was second to last on the swim and got lapped by several half length swimmers.

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Contemplating the swim

Despite that, I finished top ten in Olympic since my running is well above average and my bike is average to slightly above average.  Still, the failure stings as I have registered for the final full ironman length race of this year which is just on the 22nd of this month.  That will be the last chance I have of completing my goal for this year.  I have serious doubts about being able to finish the swim.

So that’s my someday: complete a full Ironman.  And I hope that someday is September 22nd.  Wish me luck.

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