Three Willy Scrotes In-the-Buff

When I saw the “Willy” under the bridge, I had to show mine and pervert this nursery rhyme!

Once upon a time there were three Willy Scrotes, who were to go to the park and make their dicks go fap, and all three were in the buff!

On the way up was a bridge over a cascading stream they had to cross; and under the bridge lived the Cum Slut Nicole, with tits as big as melons, and a cunt many men had dealt in.

So first of all wanked the youngest Willy Scrote In-the-Buff under the bridge.

“Fap, fip, fap, fip!” went the Willy.

“Who’s that fapping under my bridge?” cat-called Nicole.

“Oh, it is only I, the tiniest Willy Scrote In-the-Buff, and I’m going up to the park to make my dick fap,” said the Willy Scrote, with such a small willy.

“Now, I’m going to gobble your cum right up!” said Nicole.

“Oh, no! pray don’t blow me. I’m too little, that I am,” said the Willy Scrote . “Wait a bit till the second Willy Scrote In-the-Buff cums. He’s much bigger.”

“Well, be off with you,” said Nicole.

A little while after wanked the second Willy Scrote In-the-Buff under the bridge.

“Fap, fip, fap, fip!” went the Willy.

“Who’s that fapping under my bridge?” roared Nicole.

“Oh, it’s the second Willy Scrote In-the-Buff, and I’m going up to the park to make my dick fap,” said the Willy Scrote, who hadn’t such a small willy.

“Now I’m going to gobble your cum right up!” said Nicole.

“Oh, no! Don’t take me. Wait a little till the big Willy Scrote In-the-Buff cums. He’s much bigger.”

“Very well! Get off with you!” said Nicole.

But just then wanked the big Willy Scrote In-the-Buff.

“FAP, FIP, FAP, FIP!” went the Willy, for the Willy Scrote was so girthy that the bridge creaked and groaned around him.

“Who’s that fapping under my bridge?” roared Nicole.

“It’s I! The big Willy Scrote In-the-Buff!” said the Willy Scrote, who had a seductive voice of his own.

“Now I’m going to gobble your cum right up!” roared Nicole.

Well cum along! I’ve got a willy the size of two spears and I’ll seal your eyelid shut or it’s 50 quid! I’ve got besides two big full balls and I’ll cum on your bits, body, and cones!

That was what the big Willy Scrote said. And then his cum flew at Nicole, and sealed her eyelids, and covered her bits, body and cones, and his cum was like a cascade! And after that he went up to the park. There the Willy Scrotes’ dicks went fap so much they were scarcely able to walk home again. And if the fapping hasn’t satisfied them, why, they’re still fapping; and so,

Fap, fip, fap.

This tale’s told out.

Taste Test

This wonderful photo from Marie Rebelle reminded me of a photo set I’d seen online and I had to write a nerdy scene about it!

“I can’t believe I’m doing this!” groaned Sarah.

“Hey I won the bet on who’d finish their doctoral thesis first, fair and square! Time to pay up! Besides, it’s for the advancement of human knowledge!” proclaimed a smug Jeff.

Sarah pouted and groaned again for Jeff’s benefit, but inside she was excited. She and her boyfriend had made a sexy wager to spice things up a bit. The loser would have to realize a sexual fantasy of the winner’s choice. He thought he’d won the bet, but she’d had her dissertation ready a month ago! Sarah was the better student, but Jeff had always been the more creative of the couple and once she’d heard Jeff’s fantasy she knew it was even better than hers if she won, so she’d “lost” on purpose!

“Off with the lab coat, Sarah. That’s not exactly a turn-on.”

Off it went, revealing her athletic body in a modestly sexy set of white undies with blue trim.

The look on his face and the growing bulge in his pants made her smirk.

“Not bad, but I think the subjects will need maximum stimulation for the best results.”

Now Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. “Wh-what? That wasn’t what I thought…”

“It’s my fantasy,” admonished Jeff, “so off with it. All of it!”

Sarah gulped and was soon standing in the lab without of stitch of clothing.

“Better. That’s better. I’ll turn down the lights, you light a few Bunsen burners for some ambiance!”

Sarah giggled, Jeff was such a romantic geek!

“You’re wearing goggles, that’s smart. Things could get…a little messy!” Jeff said, handing her a blindfold mask. “Single blind study!”

Sarah put on the blindfold and her goggles over it.

“Okay hop up on the lab bench and spread ’em! I’ll go get the subjects so they can…prep for the experiment!”

The blinded Sarah’s heart hammered when she heard the lab door open and three sets of feet walked in. The footsteps grew louder until she could feel the men’s presence around her. She could feel their eyes scanning up and down her nude body, no doubt locking between her spread legs and her exposed sex glistening with her wetness! She squirmed delightedly.

Then she heard the telltale meaty fapping of hands over hard erections. She leaned back further and slipped a hand down to play with her wet slit and slipped a finger then two into its opening, eliciting satisfying gasps and grunts from the subjects!

“That’s it, I can’t take any more!” Sarah declared as she hopped down from the lab bench onto her knees. “I need a cock in my mouth right now!”

Soon she was rewarded as a stiff cock was thrust into her mouth. She could smell the manly musk of precum and it’s saltiness as she hungrily worked the stranger’s shaft with her tongue. This was the experiment: to see if she could tell the difference in the taste of semen from three men with a specific diet.

Speaking of control, the first subject lost it as she felt a hot jet of semen squirt down her throat! “Subject A: sharp, bitter, salty” Sarah declared for the record.

She’d barely had time to say that before Jeff warned her that subject two as about to unload! She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out to feel a jet of sperm shoot over her chin and tongue and hit her goggles. Good thing, this was getting messy! Subject B seemed more intent on shooting all over her face than in her mouth! She did her best sultry pout as she wiped the cum off her chin to get a good taste done. “Subject B: mild and…herby, I guess.”

Subject C then placed his tip on her tongue. The took in a girthy shaft for thirty seconds or so which helped clean her palette before the third and final eruption in her mouth. She allowed him to finish, then looked up with her mouth open and played with it before swallowing. “Subject C: slightly sweet.”

“Alright, thank you for your participation in this study.” said a heavily breathing Jeff. Sarah moved to take off her blindfold, but Jeff quickly said, “No! Keep it on! I want the subjects identities to be secret! And that goes for you two! Don’t tell!”

Sarah gave his general direction a cum-covered smile! Oh how naughty! She knew what he was doing! What a delightful power dynamic this would be! Maybe a little ignorance could be bliss!

The next day Sarah walked in to the lab, giving the usual pleasantries to the usual people and students, but nervously wondering all day as she handed out test results, cleaned beakers with, or chatted over coffee in the lounge: which two guys had Jeff brought in? Which two had seen her naked that night? Had watched as she exposed her intimate sex to them? Who’s hard manhood had been shoved into her mouth for her tongue to explore? Who did she have the most intimate carnal knowledge of right down to the taste of their semen as they had broken down and orgasmed into her mouth?

Which two needn’t imagine her nude while she imaged them nude? Wasn’t Mark a vegan? Derrick? Was his penis the girthy one she’d taken in her mouth? She smiled: or Greg, who she thought fancied her and always acted shy around her. Had he realized his own fantasy about her as he’d pleasured himself to the sight of her naked body and a man pumping hot cum into her mouth before he couldn’t resist any longer and covered her face with his long pent-up load? She may never know!

HUMP! Day Announcement & Help Request

This is a big jump for me. I’ve decided to enter the 2019 HUMP! Film Festival! I learned about it when I lived in Seattle as it was a Seattle original put on by Dan Savage. I never submitted a film nor went to a screening, though I wish I had.

The beauty of HUMP! is that all copies of submitted works are destroyed after screening, thus preserving anonymity if one so desires. I will be showing my face and well, all of me as you probably assumed. I’m also publishing my first cut on Vimeo.

I’d greatly appreciate any feedback you can give me. The time limit is 5 minutes, so I need to cut it down a bit.

I know I should have filmed all in wide instead of vertical for some, but those scenes are in far-off places and I can’t re-shoot them. And I know my “acting” is porn-star quality 🙂 Special thanks to kisungura‘s glorious Grow for inspiration!

-Dick- Cheney Shooting Range

“So where are we going?”

Stacey wrung her hands in her too-short skirt with nervous energy as Shawn zoomed around a curve in his pickup truck, giving him a peak of her white panties!

Tonight was Naughty Night, a monthly event held by the secret swinger’s club they were members in. Each event was full of sex and debauchery of some form their Puritanical-minded Kansas neighbors would be horrified at. Shawn and Stacey abstained from sex all week prior to the events which made them horny as hell and the made the evening’s festivities all the more potent! For an extra kick, Stacey never wanted to be told what the event was. She liked the surprise!

“We’re going to a shooting range,” Shawn dropped a hint.

Stacey scrunched up her face a bit. “A shooting range?” Guns weren’t either of their thing, though plenty of other members were enthusiasts. It was Kansas, after all. But Stacey couldn’t fathom what sexy thing they could be doing at a shooting range.

“The Cheney Shooting Range, to be exact,” replied Shawn.

Stacey snorted a giggle in that adorable way that made Shawn’s dick swell a bit. “Are we going to shoot some lawyers in the face?” She quipped, referencing the notorious time Vice President Dick Cheney shot a lawyer in the face in a hunting accident.

Shawn smiled at her, “It’s by Cheney State Park, it was here long before the incident with Dick Cheney…though there will be plenty of dick involved!”

At the mention of that kind of dick, Stacey stopped snickering as a wave of lust washed over her stunning features. She licked her glistening lips. Oof, now Shawn’s dick was fully erect as he pulled into the range’s parking lot.

Yes, it’s a real place, the inspiration for this story!

“All right, ladies, find your shooting stall, one lady each!” The event director called through the intercom.

Stacey stepped into a stall but there was no gun of any kind, nor any paper target anywhere down field, just a small bottle of oil. They were open stalls and she looked right and left at familiar faces of female members but no guns, no guys.

“All right men, guns out! Remember, no hands or you’re disqualified!” That’s when Shawn and the other male members stepped in to their respective stalls. Completely nude. Shawn smiled at her, sporting the full erection he’d worked up on the drive over here.

Stacey smiled. Now she was starting to get an idea where this was headed. “Cock lock and load, ladies!” Confused, Stacey looked around at the other members. The girls were taking the oil and started rubbing their men’s cocks with it, working up their erections. Lisa to her left had taken Robert full in her mouth and Stacey flushed with lust. Those two were never subtle! She squirted some oil onto her palm and started stroking Shawn’s length. God! He was rock hard already!

“Targets on range!” Shouted the intercom. Then it started playing Nine Inch Nails’ Big Man With A Gun:

🎶 I am a big man
(Yes I am)
And I have a big gun!
Got me a big ol’ dick and I
I like to have fun! 🎶

Pretty S&M girls strode over from down range, all fully nude. Wearing only a leash that their masters used to guide them. Then then sank to their knees at the low barrier, faces roughly level with the glistening oiled manhood all now pointing directly their way.

Now Stacey could see the face paint on their target girl of Asian features. Each face was painted with a target, their nose a red boop for the bullseye!

Stacey jumped and clapped, “Oh I’m going to love this!”

“Points for accuracy and number of shots fired! Couple with the highest score wins! Judging by the Masters!” Barked the intercom.

At this prompt, the target girl’s master smacked her bare rump. “Please shoot your nut loads on my face, sir!” She obediently implored Shawn.

Stacey could feel Shawn’s cock get so hard, she was surprised it didn’t explode! She stepped behind him and reached around with both hands. Her right cocked his oiled shaft while her left pistol-gripped his full balls. She leaned her head left and crooned in his ear, “Oh she’s cute, Shawn! You want to shoot your cum all over her pretty little face?”

Shawn groaned.

🎶 I’m hard as fucking steel and I’ve got the power!
I’m every inch a man and I’ll show you somehow!
Me and my fucking gun! 🎶

“UUUUGH!” Groaned Robert to her left as Lisa struggled to aim streams of warm white cum toward the face of their target. Stacey raised an eyebrow, Robert had a big clip on his gun, for sure, but Lisa was a bad shot, the target getting mostly a pearl necklace instead of a facial.

Shawn had seen the festivities as well, “Shit shit shit!” he gritted. “Not yet!” Stacey commanded. She wasn’t confident in her aim either, but she knew if she edged Shawn to the max he could go off like a full belt-fed machine gun! Spray and pray, baby!

“GUUUGH HUH! HUH! HUH!” some lucky guy to her right was firing off his load.

🎶 Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
I’m going to cum all over you!
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
I’m going to cum all over you! 🎶

“Oh god, I can’t hold it much longer Stace!” Strained Shawn. She knew he was about to pop, so she hugged into him hard, tightened her grip and counted down, “Five, four, three, two…one!”

Shawn’s whole body bucked as a huge jet of hot sticky cum nailed the target girl right in the forehead. “Jesus, it’s like a shotgun!” thought Stacey. She aimed Shawn’s throbbing cock down a little lower. A second big jet quickly followed. Right in her eye, “Oh sorry sorry!” she squeaked. Four on the chin. Five on the right cheek, six back on the forehead. Seven, bullseye!

Shawn was faltering now as the throws of orgasm started making his knees weak. Eight, missed low, “Shit!” Nine and ten on the chin, then Shawn bucked and eleven streaked right on the nose! Twelve was short and Shawn was spent!

“Holy shit Shawn!” Whooped Stacey. “That was a HUGE load!”

Even the target girl and her master seemed stunned. Actually Stacey wasn’t sure how to even score it as the poor girl’s face looked like a glazed donut! What a mess! There was cum everywhere!

In the end, the judges awarded Stacey and Shawn winners due to the sheer volume of “shots” fired! They were presented a trophy shaped like a penis shooting cum and a framed “paper target:” a freeze-frame photo from the stall’s overhead security cam of Sayaka’s (their target girl) already cum-covered face taking yet another jet of cum from Shawn’s cock! Stacey was thrilled! Not the sort of thing one placed above the mantle for polite company, but it would look great in their play room!

Friday Flash No. 22 — Beauty Queen

Soda Jerking

“Hurry up, Barb!” chided Nancy. “I can’t wait for you to see this!”

Barbara checked her make-up again in the rear view mirror then stepped out of Nancy’s beautiful cherry red 1953 Chevrolet Bel Air and ran her hands nervously down her poodle skirt. The fun-loving, mischievous, and some would say (did say) floozy Nancy had been working on breaking down the “prude” Barbara by taking her out on Saturday nights to rock-and-roll dances and street drag races, sometimes even participating with her Bel Air as the anxious Barbara gripped the leather upholstery to the squealing as Nancy goosed it after the flag was dropped. Barbara wasn’t sure if it was the tires or her doing the squealing!

Nancy held open the door and impatiently pushed Barb through. Inside behind the counter, Barbara saw a line of six soda jerks, in their white hats and white shirts with black bow-ties. But there weren’t any girls, just the line of guys. Cute guys!

“Uh, where are the other contestants?” Barbara asked Nancy in confusion.

“Oh please, Barb, it’s not that kind of beauty contest, what a drag!” Nancy said, eyes rolling. “You’re the judge, not a contestant! This is a…stopcock beauty contest!” she emphasized with carnival barker flair. The judge? Stopcock, what?

“So Daddy-O, are you ready for the show?” Nancy asked the nearest guy, leaning over the counter looking at something. Then she grinned big and turned and winked at Barb, “Oh yeah, they’re on the stick all right!”

Barb was more confused than ever as Nancy took her by the elbow and ushered her around the counter where she gasped and froze! Below the waist, the six soda jerks weren’t wearing the white aprons she was expecting, in fact they weren’t wearing…anything! Not only were they not wearing anything, but their “stopcocks” were sporting woodies, sticking out hard and proud!

Barb flushed deep red as Nancy watched her, looking really jazzed! “So which one do you fancy?” asked Nancy. Barb swallowed hard. Nancy rolled her eyes again, “Oh don’t be such a wet rag, Barb!  Here.” She took Barb by the elbow again and pulled her toward the nearest “stopcock.”  “What do you think about this one?”

She didn’t know if it was possible, but Barb thought she flushed an even deeper red as she looked down at the long, veiny shaft and smooth, purple tip straining up at her. She gulped. “Nice, huh?” said Nancy, reading her expression with amusement. Then on down the line they went, judging cocks, smooth and veiny, longer and thinner, shorter and fatter. At the end, Nancy held out a blue ribbon, “Okay doll, which one gets the prize?” Barb’s eyes went back to #1. Nancy grinned, “Excellent choice! Well, you do the honors, tie on the ribbon!”

Barb’s hands trembled as she looped the ribbon under the two full balls, over the shaft and tied the ribbon around the first soda jerk’s exceptional cock, making it even more hard! “Thank you doll, now for the real award!” proclaimed Nancy with lust in her eyes. Barb thought she was going to faint as Nancy got down on her knees and started to take the prized shaft into her mouth!



It’s almost harvest time here in the breadbasket region of the USA bringing with it Husker Harvest Days and The Harvest of Harmony parade.  I’m trying my hand at a poem about the agriculture area for the lifestyle prompt for Wicked Wednesday, and also included the photo for the Pieces of Jade Scavenger Hunt crops category which was the inspiration for the photo and poem.  Hope you enjoy!


Squeeze test – Grasp and squeeze the cornstalk

If the stalk is soft and spongy, the Harvest will not come

If ripe, it will be firm and solid, healthy and strong

Tassels blush dark, turning color

Cobs start to swell

Bursting proudly out of concealing husks

Virile, exposed, displayed!

Ripe with potent seed – kernels full with milky promise

Waiting eagerly for hands of harvesting maidens

To take swollen cobs within

And spill their milky seed into fertile soil

Let the sweet Harvest begin!



Pizza Dare

Jennifer smiled again. She’d been forced to take this DNM course (Designed for Nonscience Majors) in oceanography to satisfy a requirement for her art history major, freshman year, second semester. She chose this one because she was from Idaho and learning about the ocean sounded at least like some fun, not like physics or statistics which were her other options. But it wasn’t fun, she was having to learn about stuff like gyres and thermocline and halocline and uh, she looked down at her notes, pycnocline? Ugh! She wasn’t some stupid bimbo like most sorority sisters were made out to be. But science was not her thing. She was just right-brained.

She’d hated this class, but needed to pass. That’s why she started coming to the Friday group study sessions with Brandon, the oceanography grad student. Now she wouldn’t miss a session, and not just because she needed the help, but because she liked Brandon. Liked him a lot actually. He was kind, funny, smart. He could explain things to her in a way she could understand and never talked down to her got annoyed when she didn’t get it. And he was cute!

Most of the other students left early, but she always stayed the full hour, for some one-on-one time with Brandon. Straying from gyres and pycno-whatevers to direct conversation to him, asking about his interests, learning he worked on a crab fishing boat over summer breaks, like those Dangerous Catch guys! That would explain the toned muscles and enticing aura of adventure about him! She kept hoping he’d ask her out on a date. But it wouldn’t be today today because he was quitting early. “Hey Jennifer, if you don’t have any more questions, I’m going to have to head out.”

“Oh, okay. Why?” asked Jennifer.

He looked embarrassed. “Well, I had to take a part-time job on the weekends to help with my share of the rent. Grad school isn’t cheap.”

“Oh, yeah, oh course! Um, good luck,” she stammered. Oh nice, Jennifer! She chided herself.  Maybe she should just ask him out? It was 2018 after all, and this was Seattle. A girl could afford to be more aggressive here, right?

After Brandon left and she was putting her books back in the backpack, she suddenly remembered she had the “event” tomorrow night. Flushing, she gulped as the nerves hit her like they always did when she thought about it. She was in a serious sorority, not a party one. But that didn’t mean Chi Delta Omega girls didn’t get a little naughty sometimes!

She was raised in a conservative Christian home back in Idaho. She wasn’t sexually repressed or anything, she’d even given a blowjob to her high school boyfriend on prom night and they’d fooled around lots of times. But just last week she’d admitted to some of her sisters that she was excited by exhibitionism. The thought of being naked and exposed in front of people turned her on.

That’s when her sisters in liberal Seattle resolved to have her do a sex-positive “pizza dare” this Saturday night. A pizza dare is when the girls order pizza and she would have to open the door and pay the pizza delivery man completely in the nude! While they recorded it on their phones. And his phone, if he let them do it! It was the last part where she convinced them she could wear a masquerade mask to hide her face. She didn’t want that video of her ending up online with her face in it!

Saturday night:

Jennifer was shivering. Not just because she was butt-naked, but the tension of the wait was getting to her. They’d ordered the pizza ten minutes ago. When would the knock come? What would he do? Would he be cute? Old?

She looked down at herself. She’d put some pounds on in her freshman year, not the dreaded freshman 15, though, as she jogged and did some Yoga to stay fit. Also, her girlfriends and given her her first bikini wax insisting if she was going to show everything, she was going to do it right and show everything! Yeah, she told herself, you’ll be a welcome sight, Jennifer. You got this!

There was a knock on the door. “Pizza?” a voice said. Her heart beat fast. This was it! She walked haltingly over to the door and reached a shaking hand to the handle. When she hesitated, her sisters gave her hushed encouragement. Taking a deep breath…she opened the door.

And standing there stunned by the sudden appearance of a totally naked girl was a tall young man in a Dominoes Pizza uniform who…looked kind of familiar…OH GOD! It was Brandon!

Her heart leapt and her face blushed deep red, “Uh, um,” she stammered. Did he recognize her, did he know it was her? Rolling her eyes, Allison, one of her sisters, ushered the also blushing Brandon in the door and took the pizza box from him. Laughing, she eventually caught Brandon’s attention which was previously locked on Jennifer’s nude body.

“What’s your name?”

“Um, Brandon.” Brandon stammered out.

“You must be new. Happy first pizza dare Brandon! Here’s how it works, we give you a bigger tip if you let us take a pic of you with our friend who is exploring her sexual freedom tonight, okay? We can use your phone, you know, for a keepsake!”

“Um…” Brandon stammered.

“Oh come on, just hand it over. Don’t worry, this isn’t a hazing. She likes it, don’t you sweetie? She wanted to do this!”

“Y…yes,” admitted Jennifer, finally able to speak. And she did, she was scared and nervous, but also getting wet as hell. What a rush! She was living out her fantasy and…it was with Brandon!

Brandon fished his phone out of his pants, and Jennifer couldn’t help but notice a distinct bulge in them even after he’d pulled his phone out of his front left pocket.

“Oh my god, I’m giving him a hard-on!” realized Jennifer. Allison was directing Brandon over to her, “Well go on, put your arm around her! Don’t be shy!”

Jennifer felt a tingle of electricity as Brandon’s muscular arm went around her left shoulder. Then, scarcely believing she was doing this, she took his hand and guided it over her left breast. She heard the characteristic camera shutter click. This made him turn a little and she felt his hard manhood brush against her right butt cheek. He smelled of the ocean. It send a jolt of desire into her. Her hand reached down and stroked his manhood through his pants.

He gasped in her ear. She undid his belt and to the shock of her sorority sisters, she went to her knees, pulled down his pants and revealed his bulge straining to escape his boxer briefs. Looking up into his ocean blue eyes, she tugged down on his boxer briefs, the waistband sliding down, down his hard shaft until six inches later, it finally slipped over the head of his cock and his manhood suddenly sprang up and out revealing a glorious, veiny erection quivering like an eager husky straining against it’s leash!

She licked her lips and stuck her tongue under the glistening tip, then rose up on her knees a little to give it a kiss. Still locking his gaze with hers, she ran both hands down his hard abs and back over his firm ass, then leverage gained, started taking his length in her mouth and down her throat. Out and in, out and in as he moaned in pleasure.

Then she backed him out of her mouth, leaned his cock on her face and still looking up at him, started licking his cum-filled balls. He shuddered and she felt a drop of precum run down her forehead. Knowing he was getting close, she grabbed the base of his cock with both hands and took his first three inches in her mouth. Tilting her head side to side, working her tongue around the tip of his cock, tasting his precum. Tasting the brine of the sea.

He grasped the back of her head, instinctively trying to work her head down further on his cock, and she allowed him. All the way down to his balls, long deep strokes, faster and faster. Until “Oh God!” he screamed, and she quickly sank back down on her knees, face tilted back, ready to accept his load.

And he came. Thick jets of his seed leaving long, foamy splashes on her face like waves on an ocean beach. After the tide had receded, Allison said in a husky voice, “Um, here’s your phone back?” She had recorded everything.

Next Friday:

Jennifer felt strong, empowered, not the same kind of nerves he’d had that night before the “event.” The event that had in a very real way changed her life. Brandon taught, Jennifer asked a few questions like always until they were alone and she nonchalantly asked, “Oh yeah how did your job go?”

He started turning red, “Oh uh, yeah it went great.”

“Oh,” she said brightly, “Did you enjoy it? Was it satisfying? Something you’d like to do again?”

“Yeah, I mean it’s a job.”

Evasive. Cute. “What kind of job was it?”

“A delivery job.”

“Oh, you deliver loads then? Big loads? Keep track of them on your phone, maybe?” she was really teasing him now!

Brandon was smart, he sensed something going on now. “Er…yes, I mean I guess. Why do you ask?”

In response, Jennifer reached into her backpack and pulled out an object. It was a a black and gold masquerade mask with some splotches of a dried white substance on it.

“Brandon, I have one more question to ask you!”

You know? For Science! – An erotic short story

Part 1: Dan Glomoski: Abstract – application for human trials

Chemistry shows that semen contains endorphins, estrone, prolactin, oxytocin, thyrotrpin-releasing hormone, and serotonin. Clinical trials have shown that semen exposure in women has anti-depressant effects and elevates mood. The purpose of these laboratory trials is to test a compound that not only greatly increases male libido and semen production, but also its mood enhancing properties in females, whether through absorption vaginally, orally, or through the skin.

Part 2: Molly Prescott:

Molly flipped through Instagram with practiced ease. A whole new album’s worth of dick pics arriving daily. Normally she just kept a running count of the number them but wasn’t interested in looking at random loser cock all day. Cock she wouldn’t have even thought about touching. But that was three weeks ago. Three WEEKS! Last week she found herself actually swiping through. No, no, nope, EW, LOL that pencil dick? As if! Why bother sending a pic of that little thing, gawd some guys are just pathetic! Hmm, not bad. Long, thick, veiny, black. Not that she cared what color they were, mind you, so long as they met the first two criteria, but it reminded her of the last time she had a long, thick black cock.

Two of them, in fact. Two well-hung stud USC football players had double-teamed her three weeks ago. Then “leaked” the sex tape. And that was how she’d ended up stuck at Daddy’s office in “Like literal house arrest with two bulldog dykes outside my door!” She pouted loud enough so they could hear. After the tape dropped, there was a media frenzy and her Instagram followers skyrocketed! Hence the daily deluge of dick pics from sad losers in their mother’s basement already having jerked off repeatedly to her sex tape no doubt, yet still thinking they could offer her something those two chiseled 5-star (and 9 inch) athletes at the peak of their sexual powers couldn’t. Idiots.

They’d pounded her like they pounded the rock on Saturday nights in the Coliseum! And they’d used all the formations in the play book: the Spit-Roast, the Female Sandwich, the Flat-Line, and her favorite – the Tower of Power, all of course leading up to the Double Stuff Oreo until the grand finale: the Crossfire as she’d held out her selfie stick and recorded them as they simultaneously fired huge, strafing jets of cum all over her perfectly mirror-practiced half smiling, half pouting face she knew drove men wild. It had felt like getting repeatedly slapped in the face with with two thick wet shoe laces. Gawd were they specimens! She hadn’t been able to walk straight for two days! Sigh. She threw her phone down on the desk in frustration. She hadn’t had a cock in three weeks since then! A girl has needs!

The sex tape hadn’t leaked. It was her idea to make it. And it worked like a charm. She now had over one million twitter followers and every day the number grew! But Daddy was furious and ordered her to take a position in his big pharmaceutical company to learn some real life skills other than “getting passed around a frat house like a beer bong.” The bodyguards were supposedly there to fend off any pervs taking too much interest in her new celebrity, but she knew they were really there to stop her from sneaking off and getting in more trouble.

And her mother, the trophy wife, wasn’t any help either. She’d appealed to Mommy to talk Daddy into letting her go back out to capitalize her new-found fame, saying she knew she understood how to use sex to get what she wanted. Instead she’d slapped her across the face! Said she used stuff like “class” and “elegance” and “hard work,” not dropping her panties for every three pound cock in reach and opening her cunt in front of the whole world. Whatever! She showed leg and put out and men like Daddy came running! It was the same thing! It wasn’t fair!

But Molly wasn’t stupid. If she couldn’t go get cock, she’d get cock to come to her! Sure there were plenty of men around the company but all a bunch of pencil neck, pencil dick nerds and overweight dirty old men. But she had them all eating out the palm of her hand. Just a smile and a giggle and some stupid science joke she didn’t understand was all it took! Nerds were so pathetic and easy to manipulate. Desperate for a glimpse up her skirt or a peak down her blouse. Probably never even seen a real life woman naked. So she told Daddy she’d learned her lesson and wanted to take a role in her family’s company. She’d wriggled into a role in vetting applications for new hirings. Then she went to work.

She knew all about social media. It was easy to do some real research on applicants beyond the qualifications and fancy degrees and all that nerd crap. Nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, but then…something interesting. Division one All American swimmer at Brown University? Search: Brown University swim team, photos, Garret Wu…up on here screen she saw a sleek, muscled boy, no MAN with subtly Asian features, a yummy build, six pack abs, scrolling down below the abs, and oh this was too good! The man sure did fill out that Speedo! And so welcome to Mr. Garret Wu, assistant researcher – biochemistry!

One week after hiring:

Every pencil dick loser in this place drooled over her, but Garret Wu continued to resist even her best flirtations! Gawd DAMMIT she was getting hard up! Is this like sex addiction withdrawal? Did she pick a gay guy? But no, some discreet questions to all her drooling contacts willing to dish all the men’s room talk about the guy at the pop of an extra button on her blouse said he wasn’t gay, he just wasn’t that into sex. Not that into sex? What guy isn’t into sex? Sigh. How can smart nerds be so fucking stupid?

She knew sometimes geeky guys had “performance issues.” Hmm well she could fix that! She’d talk to this dweeb Dan who was working on some kind of boner pill he code named “Purple Rain” because he was a Prince fan. A giggle about it’s name because it turns a certain something purple then makes it rain and one playful foot brush against his inner leg under the table and she had a box of sample boner pills she “needed to keep for product testing.” Dan probably hoped for testing on him. Dolt.

Part 3: Wooing Wu

Garret Wu sighed as he clocked in and the owner and CEO’s vapid 20 year old daughter Molly bounced up to him with his morning coffee. And bounced was the right word. She clearly wore no bra and had three top buttons open at the top of her blouse, revealing more than a hint of the substantial creamy cleavage barely held in check. Why she had taken to giving him morning coffee these past couple weeks he didn’t know. He’d kindly but firmly made it known that he wasn’t interested in flirting with her.

Not just because of the unwanted complications of her being his new boss’ daughter or her being a vapid, shallow bimbo. Honestly he just wanted to do good research and make a name for himself and there was just no time for a relationship even if he did want one. He was also smart enough to know when he was being manipulated he just didn’t get why. He was a new low-rank employee, not some Fortune 500 CEO looking for a trophy wife or some star athlete or actor who could boost her into a reality TV show. It was…weird. Sigh. He really didn’t need this crap.

Taking a sip from his coffee (she did make good coffee, some kind of unique flavor), he set it on his desk and pulled on his lab coat, catching a glimpse of Head Researcher Kim Taylor walking in with her gym bag. He couldn’t help but notice how firm her glutes were looking recently. God, he smacked himself. What was wrong with him?! Kim wasn’t unattractive, but nothing any guy in the locker room would put in the same category as a Molly Prescott.

But Kim was everything Molly wasn’t. Honest, reasonable, kind, hard-working, and most importantly: brilliant. At age 36 she’d already made several key discoveries in the field and he admired her not just for her work, but the fact she was a woman and African-American who was well respected and successful, deservedly so, in what was still largely a man’s field. And his boss, technically. Would he be interested in a relationship with her if he weren’t at Prescott Pharmaceuticals? Hell yes! But he respected her too much to be anything but professional. So pull yourself together, man!

He wasn’t a teen with raging hormones anymore. He was 24 and firmly focused on his research, but these past two weeks he’d been feeling like a teenager again, inexplicably getting horny as hell for no apparently good reason. Getting raging erections at work for cripes sake! He’d been masturbating all weekend it seemed and still felt horny. And NO, he did not masturbate to that damn Molly Prescott sex tape like every other guy on the planet, and especially in the company, which Garret though was really inappropriate. Oh Molly sure was good looking, no doubt about it. Perfect genes from a perfect trophy wife mother.

But the fake sleaziness she oozed with her sexuality was a hard pass for him. He never even watched the sex tape even when some guy in the locker room at the pool was showing his friend. The audio alone was enough to make him wince. Skin on skin slap, slap, slap, slap, Molly moaning like a cheap whore with that fake high pitched Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Slap, slap, slap. Oh Yeah! Were those the only two words she knew? Ugh! Then the inevitable finale:

Molly: Mmm you gonna cum on me? Cum on my face?

Guy: Yeah I’m gonna cum all over your face!

Guy 2 (there were two of them?!): Oh fuck I’m cumming! Ugh yeah take it bitch!

Guy 1: UUUUUGH! All over your fuckin’ face, bitch!

Ugh is right! Garret made a hasty exit from the locker room.

Part 4: Necessary Evils

Kim always felt good after working out. It was important to keep a strong body for a strong mind, she thought. And it was just healthy, lord knows that’s a rare trait in this country. She nodded hello to Dan Glomoski then sighed as he walked by. Dan was a brilliant chemist, but greedy, working only on big dollar projects in sexuality enhancement. But she knew those projects like Viagra brought in big money. Big money that went to fund her rare disease research, which didn’t have enough potential customers to be viewed as very profitable. Sad, but that’s the state of for-profit medical research. She’d long ago learned she and the poor souls she was trying to help needed men like Dan to succeed.

On her way to her office she passed Garret Wu already getting to work early. She was skeptical of Wu when he was hired by that vapid slut Molly Prescott. His credentials were good, but she was sure his handsome looks were the reason Molly hired him and she had ample evidence she was right, having seen her eye fucking him every time she handed out that coffee. And what the hell was that about? A spoiled bitch like Molly would never lower herself to server girl without some ulterior motive. It couldn’t be just to add yet another handsome man to her (long) list of sexual conquests. She could just go out, spread her legs and bang any star athle…athleteS (she corrected herself) she wanted to as she had so very thoroughly proved.

But she was surprised and gradually impressed by Wu as he rebuffed her every advance. Points to Wu for continuing to think with his brain instead of the organ every other man in this place used for thinking when Molly was around. Maybe that was it, maybe Molly was so narcissistic she just couldn’t handle being rebuffed? If so she’d have to keep an eye on her and intervene if she tried to get Wu in trouble. Wu had proven to be a promising researcher and she didn’t want to lose him. Yes, as she looked at his strong and somewhat exotic jawline, that was why she wanted to keep Wu around. No other reason.

Part 5: Dan, Not the Man

Opening the door to his lab Dan yawned and then What! The! FUCK?! Some graffiti about the Animal Liberation Front on the wall. Shit! Fuck! Gone! All gone! All the test animals gone, all the product gone! Computer hard drive stolen! Data gone! His career gone! Wait! There was still that sample he gave to Molly Prescott! Thank god! His career was saved!

Part 6: Molly on the phone

“I don’t have your boner pills, Dan!”

“What, where did you send them?”

“I didn’t send them anywhere, I used them!”

“WHAT? You used them?”

“Well not on myself, dolt!”

“You used them on a PERSON?!”

“Well yeah, they’re boner pills!”

“They’re not just boner pills you idiot! They’re a male enhancement compound that greatly increases semen production as well as production of oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine levels in semen. Um…they basically make semen a mood enhancer! They’re my career, my reputation!”

“Don’t call me an idiot, fuck off Dan or I’ll call my da…wait did you say they make semen like a drug?!” Molly was suddenly paying attention now. Figures.

“You need to tell me who you gave those pills to!”

“Or what?”

“Or you could be arrested and in prison! Those pills weren’t cleared for human trials yet!”

“P…prison? But I don’t have the pills!”

“I don’t actually need the pills, I know the chemical process to produce them, I just need…well, the resultant ejaculate, that should hopefully have the chemical compounds I need to prove my pills work so they don’t cut my funding!”

“Result ejaculate? Wait so you mean you need the cum of the guy I gave the pills to?”

God she was crass. “YES!”

“Well don’t you worry Danny, that’s what I’m good at!”

Dan hung up with a facepalm, “Oh Jesus Christ!”

Part 7: Cum Catcher

Molly slammed open the door eagerly, she’d been waiting two long weeks for this! “Give me your cock, Garret I need your cum! Right now!”

“Oh my god Prescott! What the hell is the meaning of this? I don’t care if you’re Paul’s daughter this is unacceptable behavior!” exclaimed an appalled Kim.

“Jesus Christ, Molly!” sighed Dan. “Sorry, um look, Garret, Kim…I need to explain something rather…delicate…”

Outside the restroom:

“What the actual fuck? Your lab got burgled? And you! Molly, you’ve been spiking poor Garret’s coffee with untested super semen pills? What is wrong with you?” berated Kim.

Before Molly could respond, Dan said, “I know, but this pill could make the company. Look, we have to figure this out, but right now I just need the sample because who knows how long it will stay in the human system? It hasn’t been tested!”

Part 8: Mens Room Manhood

Dan knocks on the door, “Um Garret, uh? Are you done?”

“Um just a minute!” a muffled voice plaintively called.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Dan, give the poor guy a minute!” admonished Kim. “I can’t imagine what this is like for him!”

For Garret this had to be the most humiliating day of his life. He could practically feel Kim’s eyes on him as he looked forlornly down at his flaccid manhood. He’d had…performance issues with women and this situation was messed up entirely. And after getting hit with a load of bricks by the news, how was he supposed to jerk off his load?

“Oh that’s it, I’m going in there!” exclaimed Molly who stormed past before Kim could stop her.

Inside Garret yelped in surprise and embarrassment as Molly walked right up to him and inspected his exposed manhood with a practiced, if feral-looking eye. “Mmm hello there! Have I got plans for you!” Garret tried to cover his genitals but Molly pushed his hands away. “Don’t worry, Miss Molly will get you perked up in no time!” She slid seductively down to her knees, her face inches away from his dangling dong. She reached up to her taut blouse, un-doing a button, then another, one more until two perfectly formed, firm young breasts popped out.

Good god, they were lovely, thought Garret. Smooth, creamy skin gracefully curving down to two lusciously petite areola the color of strawberry cream accentuating two perky pink nipples. Garret gulped. The primitive lizard brain of a man was responding, and so was his manhood. “See there he’s waking up! What did I tell you?” She looked up into his eyes and engulfed him in that half smile/half pout look and Garret could feel his blood pumping and the swelling up of his manhood. “Mmm you are girthy aren’t you?” She teased with her voice, then with the tip of her tongue.

Garret was fully erect now. “Yes, you will be quite the mouth-full don’t you think?” She teased him, batting her lashes as Garret looked down at her, seeing one mischievous eye peaking out from behind each side of his swollen cock. God she was sexy as hell! Then he gasped as she stopped teasing him with her tongue and abruptly took his length into her mouth.

Molly knew when to tease and when a man needed a carnal shock. She kept sliding his cock down her throat until her tongue felt the soft tissue of his sack. Then she slid his cock slowly but purposefully in and down, in and down, never letting her eyes break contact with his own. Oh yes! She had him now, just like she’d always known she would. He seemed so amazed she couldn’t resist backing him out and smiling up at him, “What never had a blowjob before?” She teased, expecting a response like, “Never one like this!” but got no answer. Then it dawned on her.

“Oh my god, you haven’t, have you?” Then the next point dawned on her. “Oh my god, you’re a virgin, aren’t’ you?” No response was all the answer she needed. “Mmm honey, Molly is going to right two wrongs tonight!” She rocked back onto her butt, sliding up her skirt to reveal lacy white panties and slowly stripped them up, over her knees and off, leaving her legs spread open revealing her fully shaved and waxed bare pink pussy. Garret thought he might pass out at the sight!

God, no wonder every guy who watched the sex tape turned into a blubbering idiot when Molly was around! The sheer carnal sexuality was intoxicating! Maddening! His rational mind didn’t want him being another dick-brained idiot that he hated, but hormonal overload was driving him mercilessly to drop down and immediately split that heavenly pink seam, to penetrate that gorgeous gash and shoot his seed deep into it’s carnal caress! And the carnal instinct was winning.

Part 9: Kim Possible

Kim was torn to almost frantic. She tried to stop Molly from so egregiously invading Garret’s privacy, but stopped short of going in after her. She couldn’t just go in there with him exposed and just do the same thing, could she? She glanced helplessly at Dan, but the dolt was only looking really jealous. Ugh, men! He’d be no help, probably just wanted to watch and pleasure himself!

Maybe it wasn’t so bad, Garret would get a blowjob and that would be that. BJs weren’t a big deal to millenials these days, where they? But as she kept an ear to the door listening the the excruciating sounds of that skank slopping all over Garret’s manhood she grew increasingly angry? Garret was a good man, he deserved better than to be slobbered over by some fame craving nymphomaniac just looking for a fix of cock that would mean nothing to her!

No, she was being irrational, why should she care what two consenting adults do? And it did need to be done…you know? For science? But when she heard Molly proclaiming Garret’s virginity, something snapped in her. His first time was supposed to be a special, sacred, intimate act with someone who actually cared about him! That sex tape skank shouldn’t be the one taking him inside her, it should be…she gasped like she’d been slapped in the face. It should be…her? That’s what she was thinking, right? Oh screw it! She set her mouth in a line and slammed the door to the bathroom open!

To see: Molly all but totally naked with her breasts in the air and panties around her ankles. Of course. Probably her natural state of dress, she snorted. Then she glanced over toward Garret, who’d barely seemed to register her arrival, getting down on his knees toward…Molly’s spread open cunt! “NO!” she yelled. Rushing to put herself between Garret and Molly.

Garret finally seemed to snap out of his trance. “Kim?” he murmured. Then his eyes went wide and he looked quickly down at himself, then back up at Kim’s face, his own face turning as purple-red as his throbbing, exposed penis, Kim absently noted. His throbbing exposed penis! Oh no, she remembered. Now her face turning red as well, she had just intruded on him in a very intimate moment. Oh god, she’d made a mistake, let desire cloud her judgment, but she couldn’t seem to control herself. She couldn’t stop taking in his form, his body. His wiry muscled swimmer’s body and…his cock seemed to point right up at her demanding her attention. And she gave it. It wasn’t the longest cock she’d ever seen, nor the biggest. But it was very pleasantly plump, smooth, and…nice. She’d bet it would feel really good inside…then the screaming started.

“Get out of here you bitch! He’s mine!” Molly shrieked. A stall door slammed shut behind her as she awkwardly tried to clamber back to her feet, hampered by the panties still wrapped around her ankles. Then she threw herself at Kim, panties be damned. Shocked, Kim threw her hands up to protect herself as the crazy bitch slapped at her face.

Garret was overwhelmed, this was quite outside his anticipated plans for the day. Thankfully that’s when Molly’s two bodyguards stormed in having heard all the screaming from outside the office. They were professionals, but even they hesitated at the scene before them, a half-naked screaming girl slapping at a woman…next to a fully nude man with a full-fledged erection! But they quickly moved in to pry Molly off of Kim.

“What are you bull-dyke Amazons doing? Let go! You work for ME!” Molly shrieked. “No ma’am, we work for your father. And our agreement is to keep you from getting into trouble, and this looks a lot like trouble.” said the one on the right. “Um, sir? Perhaps you should put on some pants? Or cover that?” said the one on the left.

Garret realized he now had FOUR women staring at his still throbbing sex (what the hell was in those pills?) and didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. “Our apologies sir and ma’am. We’ll leave you to your business,” said the right bodyguard and gestured her partner to move Molly out. Garret moved to pick up his pants, but Kim stopped him with steel in her voice. “No. Hold her right there and make her watch!”

“Ma’am? The bodyguard on the left asked, “Watch what?”

“Call it a science experiment,” Kim said as she methodically disrobed. She took off her shirt, revealing a no-frills workday white bra in stark contrast to her ebony skin. Took off her pants, revealing plain cotton white panties. She calmly took off her bra, revealing two full breasts. Perhaps not as firm as they once were. Maybe they weren’t perfect 10 breasts like Molly’s, maybe some dimpling in the areola, the dark nipples not that same kind of perky, but to Garret they were divine. Off came her panties. She was trimmed, but not shaved and waxed. She took Garret’s hand and guided it down to her sex. She was warm and wet, wet for him! His throbbing reached an almost painful level.

She kicked some clothes into a rough bed then and gently guided him down to the floor on his back with his legs pointing straight at Molly. She wanted that little cunt to have a front row seat. She straddled over Garret, guiding his hands to her breasts. His hands felt like then belonged there, her nipples hardening at his touch. Then she reached back, grasped his painfully swollen cock, guiding it along her labia, searching for the opening. Finding it. Garret’s whole body clenched in anticipation.

Then she released her grip and slid down onto him. Garret hissed in ecstasy. She slowly took him in to his full length, savoring his first penetration. Her scientific mind automatically ticking it away: the tip, two inches, three, four, five, six. Seven. Then she felt his scrotum soft against her. “Well Mr. Wu, not a virgin anymore are you?” Behind her Molly muffled something unintelligibly angry. Kim and Garret looked back. One of the bodyguards had put a sock in her mouth. HA! Oh no, those were her own panties! And with that final absurdity, the tension broke and everyone laughed, except Molly.

“Hush and enjoy the action, Molly!” teased Kim, “I know I will!” She rose back up off of Garret until she was almost out, then sank slowly back down on him again…six…seven. Up, down, six…seven! Garret was in rapture, this beautiful woman sharing herself with him. And three others, but he didn’t even care about that now, just wanted to savor this forever. He looked up at Kim’s face, eyes closed, in a grimace of pleasure, trying to memorize every last detail.

Faster she went: up down…six seven, up down six seven! Updownsixseven UPDOWNSIXSEVEN! Garret was going mad, fighting with all his might to hold himself in, to give this goddess all the pleasure he could possibly provide. Some precum slipped from his shaft into her pussy. Kim’s eyes shot open in a stab of ecstasy! Oh my god! She’d never felt anything so good! A few more thrusts and she was going to cum and cum hard!

Cum? Oh shit!

“Your cum!” she panted. Oh shit, though Garret, I don’t know if I can hold it! Kim dismounted him and he struggled back to his feet. Kim scrambled around her clothing for the test tube, found it and held it up by his straining penis. Precum was dripping off the head and she couldn’t resist a taste.

As Kim licked as his cock, Garret finally lost it and erupted, shooting thick, majestic arcs of semen. The first several powerful jets shot all the way over Kim, all over Molly, all over the wall! Kim struggled to put the test tube to his rampaging cock, but the next jet of cum was so strong it knocked the tube out of her hand. Jesus! How many spurts was that already? She picked up the tube with one hand, then latching onto Garret’s cock like tackling a loose fire hose and held on for three more spurts, each a load worth in it’s own right until finally the stream was containable by the test tube. Three more spurts into the receptacle until his cock still shook, but Garret had finally emptied himself and Kim put the cap on the tube.

Then she looked around to survey the carnage. It looked like someone exploded a yogurt tub in here! The bodyguards looked stunned. Holy shit! The pill, it worked! Even Molly was looking somewhat dreamy, then Kim saw why as a glob of Garret’s cum dripped off her chin to further coat her breasts, which were covered with half his load of spunk.

“YES! I knew it worked!” shouted Dan. “Dan the Man is back!” he said, still not taking his hands away from his phone. Wait, his fucking phone! “Dan what the fuck?” Kim yelled as she scrambled to cover herself then realized it was pointless. “Were you filming that whole time?”

“I needed to document the experiment, you know? For science!”

Epilogue: Cum Dumpster

Dan the Man was famous, Garret had received internet celebrity, though he wasn’t sure how to feel about that. No, not a sex tape, Kim and wrestled Dan’s phone away, but a version with Kim censored out of Garret’s epic cumshot somehow “leaked” online and Twitter was burning up with speculation of what kind of pill could get a man shoot such a load, a load ballads would be written and songs sung about! Molly was never an official employee, so Prescott Pharmaceuticals would only get a slap on the wrist and would ultimately be rich. After the tape leaked, the view of her held down by two “Wonder Women” gagging on her own panties in her mouth while getting blasted with cum had taken her to less budding internet starlet than cum dumpster status because what was she good for other than getting cummed on all the time? Nothing, agreed Kim.

As for Kim, she’d rudely been deprived of a true orgasm, indeed the first enhanced semen orgasm, so she and Garret endeavored to fix that injustice. After all, the new pill effects did need more human testing. You know? For science! They tested it in her office, in her bed, on her kitchen table, in her shower, and once in the back seat of her car over lunch break. The orgasms were Earth shattering! Even after it wore off, she didn’t mind. She was a good teacher and Garret was a fast learner. She found his unenhanced sex to be more than fine!

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