Feeling Salty

Feeling salty and grey so this trip to the Great Salt Plains National Wildlife Refuge matched my mood.  I wrote a post for Wicked Wednesday about my last chance of the year to complete an Ironman triathlon.  Well I didn’t.

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I was most concerned about the swim.  I had 2 1/2 hours to complete it.  I did it in 2 hours and 26 minutes.  After that, I had until 6 pm to complete the 112 mile bike ride.  I got pulled off the course with half an hour until the deadline due to a technicality that the police intersection presence in town was set to stop at 6:00 and there was “uncertainty” of them being in place for my ride through town in the first 7 of 11 miles remaining (the final 5k or so was in the park).

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I’ve failed to finish ultramarathons my fair share of times and wasn’t fine with it, of course, but I accepted it as it was on me and my training or beyond human control due to injury, etc.  But this time was different.  My pace was there, albeit barely.  The problem is that I registered for the beginner wave of the swim, which was completely reasonable, my being a beginner after all!  But once there, I found out the beginner’s wave was the final wave, not the first as I and everybody I’ve talked to agreed would be the logical assumption.  That meant I started 20-25 minutes after the first wave, which was the wave I’d been in if I hadn’t selected beginner.  That meant 20-25 minutes less time to finish the bike!  I fail to see how this benefits a beginner!

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Long story short, being in the beginner wave is supposed to set up new triathletes in a better position, but it mathematically, truthfully set me up for failure.  I feel cheated and I think I have a sound argument that I was cheated.  This was the most disappointing and infuriating race experience of my life by a wide margin.  Now it’s a full year before another shot at completing an Ironman.  This cast a pall over everything else I’ve accomplished this year and will eat away like acid in my stomach all off season.  I still feel a little sick.

Sinful Sunday 389

This is the only multiple exposure set I did in the Black Hills.  I tried for a nudist community look.  It was at Gordon Stockade, which was risky.  It is a small, totally enclosed place with only one entrance and exit which is both good and bad.  It was also at the end of a 100 meter or so walkway from the parking lot.  The sun was going down behind the hills and I was the only one there, and figured from somebody driving up and walking in, I’d have at minimum a 30 second window.  I put a pair of shorts in each of the cabins, but still risky.  That’s why you see some of myselves running!  It probably only took 20 seconds, but seemed a lot longer at the time!

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Due to the camera set-up and myself checking if the coast was clear, this part has the look of a voyeur getting caught peeping.

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Please click the lips below to see who else did something naughty!SinfulSundayLips150

Sinful Sunday Week 388

This week I’m sharing some photos I took at a quirky little one-horse town in South Dakota from my tri trip.  It’s an evolving bike sculpture in the town of Pringle, which is (in)famous also for a fundamental polygamous branch of Mormons.  I didn’t know that at the time, so I guess I wasn’t the only one being a sexual deviant!  The sculpture appealed to my like of cyberpunk dystopian landscapes.  And you know Pringles, once you drop (pants), you can’t stop!  So I took three pics that turned out much better than I thought they would!

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My face behind the spokes and axle give my head a cyborg-ish look I think.

I’m also submitting this for the Pieces of Jade Scavenger Hunt for public art!

Click the lips to see who else is being a deviant this week!

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Friday Flash No. 22 — Beauty Queen

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“Hurry up, Barb!” chided Nancy. “I can’t wait for you to see this!”

Barbara checked her make-up again in the rear view mirror then stepped out of Nancy’s beautiful cherry red 1953 Chevrolet Bel Air and ran her hands nervously down her poodle skirt. The fun-loving, mischievous, and some would say (did say) floozy Nancy had been working on breaking down the “prude” Barbara by taking her out on Saturday nights to rock-and-roll dances and street drag races, sometimes even participating with her Bel Air as the anxious Barbara gripped the leather upholstery to the squealing as Nancy goosed it after the flag was dropped. Barbara wasn’t sure if it was the tires or her doing the squealing!

Nancy held open the door and impatiently pushed Barb through. Inside behind the counter, Barbara saw a line of six soda jerks, in their white hats and white shirts with black bow-ties. But there weren’t any girls, just the line of guys. Cute guys!

“Uh, where are the other contestants?” Barbara asked Nancy in confusion.

“Oh please, Barb, it’s not that kind of beauty contest, what a drag!” Nancy said, eyes rolling. “You’re the judge, not a contestant! This is a…stopcock beauty contest!” she emphasized with carnival barker flair. The judge? Stopcock, what?

“So Daddy-O, are you ready for the show?” Nancy asked the nearest guy, leaning over the counter looking at something. Then she grinned big and turned and winked at Barb, “Oh yeah, they’re on the stick all right!”

Barb was more confused than ever as Nancy took her by the elbow and ushered her around the counter where she gasped and froze! Below the waist, the six soda jerks weren’t wearing the white aprons she was expecting, in fact they weren’t wearing…anything! Not only were they not wearing anything, but their “stopcocks” were sporting woodies, sticking out hard and proud!

Barb flushed deep red as Nancy watched her, looking really jazzed! “So which one do you fancy?” asked Nancy. Barb swallowed hard. Nancy rolled her eyes again, “Oh don’t be such a wet rag, Barb!  Here.” She took Barb by the elbow again and pulled her toward the nearest “stopcock.”  “What do you think about this one?”

She didn’t know if it was possible, but Barb thought she flushed an even deeper red as she looked down at the long, veiny shaft and smooth, purple tip straining up at her. She gulped. “Nice, huh?” said Nancy, reading her expression with amusement. Then on down the line they went, judging cocks, smooth and veiny, longer and thinner, shorter and fatter. At the end, Nancy held out a blue ribbon, “Okay doll, which one gets the prize?” Barb’s eyes went back to #1. Nancy grinned, “Excellent choice! Well, you do the honors, tie on the ribbon!”

Barb’s hands trembled as she looped the ribbon under the two full balls, over the shaft and tied the ribbon around the first soda jerk’s exceptional cock, making it even more hard! “Thank you doll, now for the real award!” proclaimed Nancy with lust in her eyes. Barb thought she was going to faint as Nancy got down on her knees and started to take the prized shaft into her mouth!

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A “Male” Box! – PoJ Scavenger Hunt

I was just scouting a route from Custer to Devil’s Tower on Google Maps and spotted a road named Dick Drive in Hill View Heights, Wyoming, a “census-designated place,” population 170.  Well my dick led me to drive that route because that was just too perfect for my naughty exhibitionist drive not to check out!  Then it seemed not so perfect as the place is so small most of the gravel streets don’t even have road signs.  There was, however, a row a mail boxes along an old paved highway with their addresses stickered on for residences along Dick Drive.  Great success!  A funny named road and a scavenger hunt location for mail boxes!  Or in this case, as I saw to it, a male box!  Check!

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Wicked Wednesday Prompt #328: Someday

This topic is an overarching theme for this site.  I hit something of a midlife crisis two years ago at age 34, which may sound a bit ridiculous but for an endurance athlete, that’s getting long in the tooth!  I had just been a recreational 5-10k runner, but I’d always wanted to run a marathon and it struck me on my birthday that I was getting close to a age where I wouldn’t be able to run one competitively (at least in the sense of qualifying for Boston).  So I started training.  New Years of this year I set four goals:

  1.  Run a marathon under 3 hours and qualify for the Boston Marathon
  2. Complete a run over 100 miles
  3. Qualify for Western States lottery
  4. complete a full Ironman triathlon

I’ve accomplished #1 and have confidence of running two races, one in November and the other in December to fulfill #2 and #3.  #4 is my primary goal and it is proving difficult.

This weekend I went to Custer, South Dakota to complete a half Ironman triathlon as indicated on my post Pre-race Preparation.  I failed.

Despite the weather being in the 80s during the day, the mornings in the Black Hills were frigid as was the water.  I have a hard enough time as is doing the swim and athletes were shivering in their wetsuits.  And I have no wetsuit.  The half length was two laps and I was going numb and cramping during one, so I called it and downgraded to Olympic distance.  I was second to last on the swim and got lapped by several half length swimmers.

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Contemplating the swim

Despite that, I finished top ten in Olympic since my running is well above average and my bike is average to slightly above average.  Still, the failure stings as I have registered for the final full ironman length race of this year which is just on the 22nd of this month.  That will be the last chance I have of completing my goal for this year.  I have serious doubts about being able to finish the swim.

So that’s my someday: complete a full Ironman.  And I hope that someday is September 22nd.  Wish me luck.

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Ri-dick-ulous!

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This is my favorite “don’t take my body too seriously” photo I’ve taken yet!  I chuckle every time I look at it!  I fully realize that male genitalia are rather silly-looking at best, but sometimes that silliness can be a good thing.  I mean this pic is absolutely ridiculous with my half-chubby cock and balls flopped out little slots like a little pup sticking his snout over his paws out a car window!  It’s a rare time I actually find the ridiculousness of my penis endearing!

duckhunt_t01I had no plans for this one, I was actually on a mission to check the giant cross off the Pieces of Jade Scavenger Hunt and ran across this box hunting blind standing just off the path in a pasture!  Usually when I say I ran across something, I mean that literally as I’m usually out running to these locations with my little tripod sheathed across my back in my vest for kinky adventures.  Always be prepared!

I snapped my phone in place and set it up on the nearest fence pole and stripped down to just my socks and shoes (sand burrs all over out there).  It’s a rare luxury to find a location in the middle of nowhere with basically a nill chance of getting caught by anything but a cow and made sure to put the privacy to good use!

The box is a double and had two hard-weathered swivel desk chairs inside, but it’s meant for a sitting person, and at 6′ 4″ tall, I had to hunch over to get inside.  The gun ports were just a bit over groin height which made positioning for this very awkward.  But I tip-toed up, hunched over, thrust out, and was able to flop my cock out the holes in my best interpretation of my “gun” being locked and loaded!  I’d been running several miles already, and it’s actually hard to get hard while running, tougher to get it up with the heart rate already up!  Buy hey, it’s some extra cardio, right?

I used my trusty multiple exposure method again, and I’m actually pretty happy at how this one turned out!  I hope you can get some amusement out of it like I do!  As always, click the lips below to see more amusing, insightful, erotic and sexy photos from fantastic male and female bloggers!

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Pre-race Preparation

1. Check out the cabin.

2. Prep my bike and gear. Really get that piston pumping!

3. Relax, hydrate and watch some Men in Black. It helps to air dry after a hot shower.

4. Time to get some sleep, don’t worry about the morning.

Cornography

It’s almost harvest time here in the breadbasket region of the USA bringing with it Husker Harvest Days and The Harvest of Harmony parade.  I’m trying my hand at a poem about the agriculture area for the lifestyle prompt for Wicked Wednesday, and also included the photo for the Pieces of Jade Scavenger Hunt crops category which was the inspiration for the photo and poem.  Hope you enjoy!

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Squeeze test – Grasp and squeeze the cornstalk

If the stalk is soft and spongy, the Harvest will not come

If ripe, it will be firm and solid, healthy and strong

Tassels blush dark, turning color

Cobs start to swell

Bursting proudly out of concealing husks

Virile, exposed, displayed!

Ripe with potent seed – kernels full with milky promise

Waiting eagerly for hands of harvesting maidens

To take swollen cobs within

And spill their milky seed into fertile soil

Let the sweet Harvest begin!

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